Fleeting Companions

The phone buzzed, call screen turning on the display. I gazed at it from the corner of my eyes, pondering who was pulling me away from the dread of work, when I had just sat down for the day. My eyes lit up looking at the name on my phone screen, that lay aimlessly at the corner of my desk. It was Raghu.

I swiped to receive the call excitedly. It had been a while since we caught up. I wondered as I received the call, would he be back in town? Would he come to stay over? Would he want to meet up? Are any good movies running at the theatres? So many questions!

Isn’t it just contently warm to hear from old friends? So many fond memories, ample chit-chat, much love and uncountable shared moments! We exchanged greetings and talked for a while (read “hour”). It was more than a regular catchup call. He shared that he was getting hitched in the coming month!

I congratulated him, pulled his leg (like a true friend rightly should :P), and asked him about his soon-to-be fiancé, before hanging up. I was so happy to hear the news. It gave me a new high. There was unshakable smile on my lips the entire day! :)

Yet, there was a small weight in the corner of my mind. I felt a tinge of jealousy. I was surprised about the way I was feeling. I did not figure I would be jealous of my friends. This was new for me. I thought I was feeling a little bad that my friend had found someone and was settling down before me.

It was evening soon. I had sailed through the day pondering over my thoughts and the amazing news Raghu had shared with me. I decided to take a walk and headed out my home.

I was wandering through the streets, absorbing all the activity around me. There is something soothing about looking around and consuming the buzz of life. I like to be the third person and observe the little things around me. I was passing by a bakery, when I heard two lads arguing about which juice to order.

Since the conversation I had with Raghu that morning was still fresh in my mind, the argument I overheard took me back to my college days. I was with Raghu at the bakery in front of our college. Finance was a little tight back then. We had enough money between the two of us to buy only one glass of juice. I dint remember all the details. But I did remember we had the same argument about which flavor to choose. The gusto with which we each made our case back then brought a smile. Those were much simpler times. What wouldn’t I give to live those memories again!

This momentary trip to nostalgia suddenly made me realize why I felt bad that morning when Raghu declared he was getting married. I was feeling a tinge of bitterness not because my friend was settling down before me. It was because he would make such wonderful and beautiful memories with another amazing person in the time to come. I would not be a major part of stories he would be telling anymore. It was making me jealous that I was becoming a smaller part of his life. I chuckled a little when I realized this. I was not feeling jealous of my friend’s luck after all! :)

We somehow let our feelings become complicated, don’t we? I finally understood why boys in kindergarten are mean to girls they like. Its just misplaced feelings. I have now lived 27 years of my life, and I believe it will take at least hundred more years to understand what I feel hundred percent of the time!

Anyway, that memory made me think of all the friendships I had shared over the years of my life. Some had felt so important and strong back then. But I was not even in touch with those people now. Isn’t that how life is?

We feel a mild pain thinking about every lost friendship. Each relationship lost, seems like a burden. All the bonds that were broken in the normal course of life, they were something very precious once, that now lay buried in the passage of time. It is of course consequential that not all relationships will be maintained till the end of time. But each of them hold a special meaning in life. Each of them remind us of the life we lived and the people that helped us through.

All this loss start making us wary of new relationships. We often start putting lesser effort into new friendships, realizing that life is just fleeting. We start thinking, further down the line, this new friend will just be another companion to lose. As we move ahead in life, we tend to start taking the new friendships less seriously. We tend to open up lesser and lesser to new people. We become hesitant to share any vulnerabilities with others.

Amidst this, there is something we forget. With each friendship that might have faded over the years, there are hundreds of joyful memories that have stayed with you. There are multiple moments of vulnerability that the two of you have shared. And these are the things that really matter. You feeling pain to have lost that intimacy, means that the friendship was worth having. It is responsible for the person you are today.

So do not hold back in making new friends. Give it all you got, even if it means you might not be as close in future. The relationship you share with the person might fade over time, or you two might become more closer in years to come, you never know. But one thing is for sure. You will definitely end up creating memories that you will cherish down the line. And that is worthy enough for you to put in the effort to create new bonds.

Live in the moment. Do not think of what is to come while doing what you can for someone. Make sure you are true to yourself. Be sure to bring out the best in people around you. And that is how we can make this life worth living! The journey that we take in life is more important than the destination we reach…